The Onlooker

Entry for the “Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers”


(175 words)

You see the odd one out?

No, not the one in white shirt and black shorts. Look further behind.

Yes, man with one leg over the other? That’s me- Krishna.

And you see the tall building at the back? I’m employed as the watchman there.

It’s my usual lunch hour and this is the best time of the day. I get an hour break and I spare half an hour every day to feel the sea breeze, to watch the kids playing after their school. I watch young college couples stepping in the sea. I watch the coconut vendor trying to lure customers. And sometimes I find photographers shooting in broad day light.

It is my only free time. I support a family of seven. I work double shifts- Day time as an office watchman and then go to a night school.

I struggle but I work hard. Hard enough to make sure I am someone important one day- someone who is at the centre of this picture, not a straying speck at the back.


About Maya

Bored of the tedium and tired of the rut, I look for shelter in my imaginary hut; Behind these veils of propriety and decorum, I desperately seek a liberating forum; In my words and humor you'll find fire But beware and warned, It's all just Maya! Come, see my world through my window..

Posted on June 5, 2015, in General and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I really like your take to the prompt – a boy who works hard, goes to college and is going to make something of himself someday! Wonderful story. Welcome to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers! We are happy you have joined our fun challenge. We hope you enjoy the challenge and continue participating!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Intelligent piece of writing!!!
    Welcome to flash fiction for aspiring writers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautifully written story, Maya. You describe the activities that go on on the beach really well, and I love the way you picked that distant figure as your narrator. His aspirations in life are admirable and typical of many people around the world. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Susan Langer

    Well done, Maya. I could feel the struggles of the narrator. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I will occasionally stop by and express my appreciation to those who participate in the Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers challenge. I am very appreciative to you for kindly sharing your wonderful story with us on this challenge and I hope you will continue to participate in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. loricarlson66

    Awesome story and an unusual take of the prompt! I never even noticed the man in the far distance until now! Wow!

    Liked by 1 person

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