Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.
This was probably one of my favourite quotes from Shawshank Redemption. Or maybe this was the only quote I ever remembered.
I saw the movie Kandahar some time back and I now have a new favourite.
“Everyone needs a reason for living. Hope is that reason. For thirsty it is water, for hungry it is good, for lonely it is love , for a woman under full cover, hope is the day she will be seen.”
I recently went through a huge emotional change. I was building up my hopes on something so high that the thought of it coming crashing down didn’t even seem possible to me.
Turns out I was building a palace of cards completely ignoring the storm that was behind me the whole while just waiting for the right opportunity to give it a blow.
Sounds dramatic? Well, the effect on me was. Personally at least. I know a lot of people who are wise, matured and strong. I thought I was one of them but the last one year has disappointed me.
This came as a new year gift! I am not being sarcastic in calling it a gift. Disappointments are as important as victories. Someone once told me that I am not good at handling failures. Yes I wasn’t and now it is proven that I still am not.
But some failures teach you a big lesson. And believe it or not, no matter how short sighted you are as a person, there will come a time when you will look back at this and thank heavens that it happened.
After all, not all hopes are worth being nurtured. Definitely not at the cost of so many other good things that we ignore.
Which brings me to the original quote that I mentioned. It is very easy to talk about hope.
But how do we know what is worth hoping and what is not?
Just like we have dreams and aspirations which we categorise as optimistic, pessimistic and realistic ; we have something similar for hope.
Of course there is nothing called pessimistic hope. It won’t even be a hope. But we can call it a negative one, specially if we are hoping it for somebody else. Ex?? I hope she rots in hell!! We hear it a lot, don’t we?
But we can choose to have an optimistic hope or a realistic one.
Sometimes a quick reality check helps us know which one we personally are having.
It is very convenient to say ” one fine day, xyz or abc will happen”. Now this will be a realistic hope if you are working towards it or if the chances of accomplishing it depends more on you and less on fate or worse, on somebody else.
An optimistic or in some cases , foolish hope would be to depend on something totally unrelated to your own efforts and wait for it to happen.
As they say, we should happen to things rather than waiting for things to happen to us.
And if you currently have big hopes on yourself for something, it is time you gauge if it is realistic or just a foolishness!
I came across these beautiful lines on Fb few days back and I instantly felt an urge to share it and write something about it.
“I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I’ll never be tested on.
I want to paint because I want to, not because I’ve got something to prove.
I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to.
I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be boundless and infinite.”
I know many people in my friend circle whose idea of a perfect life was to be famous and rich- followers all around you, people who consider you their idol. I have to admit even I was temporarily carried away by the same school of thought.
But deep down, I know that my perfect life – or the life that I wish for is quite different. I don’t want people setting high standards for me; or for anyone to restrict my creativity. I should be free to do whatever I want whenever I want.
Funny but very recently I mentioned this to a friend- how would my life be if I just run away from all of this and set up a quiet life in some remote place. I always imagine Sikkim to be that place, I don’t know why! I’ll probably set up a small café in one of these North Eastern place and operate this small business. Open a free school for the village kids. Sit by the mountain stream and sketch- not for showing it to anyone because let’s face it- I sketch bad! But because it gives me happiness. Lie down on the grass and fall asleep gazing at the star lit sky. Put out your hand from the window while it rains and feel the tiny droplets create a pattern on your skin. Stay alone and have time for yourself. Do something the society will remember you for.
Just thinking about it makes me feel so peaceful. It probably won’t even happen. Just that the idea is so pristine that dreaming about it is my best pass time.
But what is achievable is that wherever we are, we do things for our self. I never like to sing or dance in public. Agreed, I feel embarrassed. But when someone tells me, the world will never know how good you are unless you show them- my answer is always the same- I don’t do it for them, I do it because I like to.
I own a small sketch book and I show it people only if I want to. Else, it remains with me as my personal piece of art. People call me reserved, maybe untalented. But I know myself and that is more than enough for me to feel happy about myself!
I’m Maya Ghosh. I work in Chennai and stay in a quiet little place of my own. I like to sing and dance. I occasionally enjoy writing and sketching. I love listening to music and watching movies. I almost never switch on the television and I don’t easily get addicted to TV series- except maybe Friends! I’m an extreme introvert and I very carefully choose whom to let into my life, although I’m very friendly and affable.
So that’s a small intro for the few who spare a few minutes every day and read the crap that I write!
If you’ve made it till here, thanks for reading and being a part of my virtual space!
I read the below lines on twitter and felt like sharing-
#Very Short Story
“I found an old photograph of us while cleaning out the attic. We looked so happy together then. It made me want to dig you up and apologize.”
How often does it happen that we create big walls of huge ego and spoil something good that we shared with someone. If we look back today, it all seems so insignificant. You then wish to go back in time and change things. Scientifically speaking, a human mind spends 70% of its time recreating memories from the past. Do you really think it is worth it? An organ capable of doing so much more is being wasted in recreating past?
Every time we say or do something harsh or let’s call it being stupid, we probably don’t even think of the consequences. In most cases, things even get back to normal. Sometimes, they don’t. You just lose someone forever. One bad move jeopardises a treasured relation.
The moral of this boring musing of mine is- It is good to be spontaneous with your life, but when it involves someone else, think twice before you act! It may mean a lot to the future “You”. So that someday, rather than thinking of going back in time and changing things, you would just want to hug the present you and thank him for being reasonable.
“Let’s do it again, just like Old times”; “Let’s catch up- just like old times”
How many times do we say that? Just like old times is probably my all time favorite phrase- because I tend to use it more often than anything else!
It’s funny though. Every person goes through a natural change with time and evolves- just like situations change. Doing the same things again with the same people, does it really ensure having the same equation with them like before?
Of late, I have been posting quotes about not running away, But I’ll probably be representing the gang knowing nothing but to run away from the situation. For me, just like old times is a way to tell myself that times will be bright again- Just like Old times!! I’m not a coward. Just that sometimes I struggle so hard that I don’t see any way out. So, I start reaching out to my old pals, visit my old diary, check out old pics in a hope that things might magically reverse. It of course never happens.
I’m just blabbering now! Going through a bad day and having heaps of work doesn’t go along very well!!
A friend and I were having a discussion once about dealing with emotional turmoil. When I suddenly commented that guys get over things really easily, he explained to me the basic difference between how different genders are nurtured. How having a check over emotions and dealing with it is considered manlier in our society, How handling a problem and focusing on your goal is important- as seen by society more than ourselves. Dropping a tear or two is no big deal for us, but it is a stigma for them. How the above just gives an impression that they are doing really well in their lives despite having problems, while in reality they might be as miserable as anyone else.
While it is easy to let out your frustrations by talking about it or crying, a “guy” way of thinking is much more practical.
Focus on your goal, control your emotions and fucking deal with it!
Adding a new Mantra to the Maya journal.